A Different Spin on the Principle of Integrity
At EQUUS, we work with exceptional people. They are leaders, invested family members, community influencers, and lifelong learners. So, we are often approached by high-performing teams who want help performing at even more extraordinary levels.
We often say this kind of work should come with a warning label, for going from good to amazing for any individual or team is far from a linear or smooth journey. It’s not about going farther, doing more, working harder, or striving to meet more ambitious goals––though some of these things may be a result. It’s about going deeper.
What do I mean by deeper? It's diving into your inner resources, your ways of thinking, and your ways of operating in the world. Evolving from good to extraordinary requires radical personal honesty, willingness to be challenged, and bearing the discomfort of discovering blind spots. It’s easy to speak about qualities such as excellence, genius, and greatness, but not everyone is up for the actual rigor of embodying them.
One of the most common themes in personal / leadership development is integrity. Certainly, integrity is considered one of the keystones of excellence. But what is integrity exactly? Volumes have been written about integrity, so my purpose with this essay is not to add to that. Instead, I’d like to open a different perspective outside of the typical constructs of “doing the right thing” or “conforming to a moral or ethical code.” My perspective is inspired by several thought leaders on the front lines of conscious business development–Peter Senge, Fred Kofman, Diana Chapman, Kim Scott, Jim Dethmer, and Kaley Klemp
Integrity in its most basic definition, means wholeness – evolved from the Latin adjective integer, meaning whole, intact, or complete. When we speak about cultivating integrity in our lives, team, or organizational culture, we talk about bringing wholeness forward. And what are the elements of wholeness? Here are a few: unity, authenticity, and alignment. Simply put, these elements are critical contributors to an individual or entity's energy levels (life force vitality). When these elements are flourishing, there is increased energy. When these elements are compromised, there is reduced energy.
Just look inside your own experience––when you are in integrity with yourself (e.g., when you are behaving in alignment with your values or acting authentically), you experience more energy or life force. If you are out of integrity with yourself (e.g., when you say “yes” to something you want to say “no” to), you experience diminished energy.
As we learn from the natural world, energy means everything. For example, energy makes the difference between escaping the lion and an animal of prey. For a tree, having energy/vitality makes the difference between survival against invasive pests. In the same way, energy for an individual, team, or organization makes the difference between good and great. Hence, when something is out of integrity, it compromises wholeness and ultimately reduces energy to the detriment of a person, project, team, or organization.
As Jim Dethmer writes in The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, “The flow of energy is like the flow of electricity, easily illustrated with Christmas tree lights. Many of us have had the experience of hanging a string of lights on a tree, plugging them in with great expectation only to have them remain unlit. Once the offending bulb is located, tightened, or replaced, electricity can circulate through the string, and the lights sparkle.” Like the string of lights, one integrity breach affects the whole system no matter how small.
When we teach teams and leaders about integrity, they often fall into limiting and shaming ideologies of good/bad and right/wrong. They believe that being in integrity means they must conform in some way. This naturally creates resistance, so they become defensive in the face of being challenged towards higher levels of integrity.
Thinking of integrity in terms of energy, rather than moral high ground, helps inoculate us against this resistance to our ideas of obedience. It's far easier to commit to the principle when we understand that aligning with our best values brings us energy and that increased energy brings about positive things. The more energy you can support in your body and the collective body of your team is directly related to your vitality, creativity, engagement, focus, passion, intuition, clarity, and vision.
There are many ways to cultivate integrity (energy) in your life, more than we have space for in this essay, but one critical place is making and keeping agreements. An agreement is anything you have said you will or will not do. It exists between yourself and yourself or between you and more people. An agreement could be as complex in a work setting as “I’ll ensure we meet our budget numbers within two months” to telling your partner or spouse, “I will pick up more coffee on the way home.”
To go from good to great, Fred Kofman, economics PhD and Vice President at Google and author of Conscious Business, challenges us to make impeccable agreements – a value of doing what you say you will do. This simple shift from a mere agreement to agreeing impeccably transforms lives and organizations because it leads to more trust, accountability, higher self-esteem, and greater productivity.
Agreements can be small (“I’ll pick up more coffee”) or large (“I’ll meet our budget numbers”), but there is no difference from the standpoint of agreement impeccability. Energetically, failing to keep a small agreement breaks the flow of life force just as much as failing to keep a large deal. This is not to say that all broken agreements have the same level of consequences, but all fractured agreements break the flow of energy and reduce trust.
To be impeccable with agreements, you need to master five best practices:
1. Align with yourself first – About which agreements you wish to make (and therefore keep) and which do not align with your authentic expression, goals, and desires (and, therefore, need to be renegotiated or denied).
2. Make clear and explicit agreements – Who will precisely do what by when.
3. Keep your agreements – Simply put, do what you say you will do when you say you will do it – no matter the ‘size’ of the agreement (and on the small percentage of times you cannot or will not, see #4 and #5 below).
4. Renegotiate agreements – As soon as you realize you will not keep an agreement, you communicate directly with the affected parties and renegotiate it.
5. Clean up broken agreements – we are human. We are all going to fail at keeping an agreement and also failing to renegotiate it. To maintain integrity, take responsibility for, and clean up the broken deal.
Here, I would like to expand on broken agreements. On the rare occasion you break an agreement, first listen for your impact on the other(s) and remedy it as quickly as possible. In cleaning up the agreement, you don’t need to “explain” or “justify” why you didn’t keep it. This is a waste of time and dismisses your impact on others. Take responsibility and remedy. Then, work very hard not to break the agreement again.
Intimidated by the idea of being impeccable and holding yourself accountable to such a high standard? Here’s the good news: it will liberate so much possibility for you and those around you. And integrity does not mean you must be perfect, even if you break an agreement. Keep this in mind: studies show that a broken agreement handled well cultivates an even greater level of trust than if the agreement had not been broken. Accountability in the face of imperfection is robust.
Integrity is a flow of wholeness energy that has infinite capacities to transform lives, families, teams, and companies. Embrace this idea, and you will create an energy revolution, leading to more aliveness, prosperity, purpose, meaning, playfulness, and passion.
Kelly Wendorf is an executive coach, spiritual mentor, facilitator, horse-woman, writer, poet, mother of two astonishing people, and courageous life explorer.
To inquire about coaching, spiritual mentoring, or private retreats with Kelly, email her.
