Assertiveness Series Part 6: Monsoon Season

Here at Buffalo Spirit Ranch we are learning how to reclaim, remediate and harvest all the water that comes to us. We live in the high desert, so water is precious. But the monsoon rains present another challenge: the skies open, and assault the land with more than it can handle. In previous years, we’ve created stone lined canals, tight watercourses, and metal culverts to push the water away from vulnerable areas and send it straight to the arroyo (riverbed) just outside the property. 

 But these rigid boundaries actually created a larger problem. Rigidity makes water move faster, and thus pushes it to blow out dams and flood our gardens and paddocks. Instead, we learned that to manage water, we must dance with it more dynamically, we must be responsive to the geologic conditions, and create space for it to spread and flow. And in that spaciousness, the water slows down, sinks into the earth, and nourishes the soil and trees. It’s the same with managing interpersonal energies of others. 

If our boundaries are too strict and rigid, we actually create more problems, increasing the tension with others, blowing people out emotionally. Instead, boundaries are meant to be more dynamic and responsive to the conditions, and created with ease and spaciousness. 

Here's what to know about boundaries:

1. There are three kinds of boundaries: rigid, porous (too weak) and healthy. Healthy boundaries are dynamic, fluid, and change / adapt with varying conditions. What kinds of boundaries do you tend to set?

2. Sometimes when we’ve grown up boundaryless, we overcompensate and create rigid boundaries.