I Paid $40K for a Coach, and This is What Happened
The water was everywhere. The dogs waded in ahead of me, my mother stood by with a single, irrelevant mop. It was pooling around the legs of my dining table, soaking my large Moroccan wool rug, permeating the wood cabinetry, and seeping up my living room walls. A pipe had burst and the water, liberated at last from its copper casing, was migrating to every corner. I stood in the doorway, mouth agape, scanning the scene, my backpack from my weekend away slung limply over my shoulder. I said nothing.
With an abrupt turn on my heel, I dropped my bag, hastened outside, ran into the forest, picked up a large stick, and beat the hell out of a dead bush while screaming and crying at the top of my lungs. I knew what this situation meant. I knew that I was on the verge of a repair that was going to cost me tens of thousands of dollars. I also had doubts about my ability to pay the bill.
I screamed at God for doing this to me. I yelled that life was not fair. I wailed with bitterness for all that I had scraped together to make this whole damn show work and for what?! And I crumpled to the ground and sobbed with abject hopelessness. Then, just as abruptly, I wiped my tears with dusty hands, stood up, and with squared shoulders walked back into the house to deal with what would be over eight months of construction. This was in September of 2022.
How I made it through the project, I cannot tell you. It was one part persistence, one part hard work, and one part manifesting. But that experience changed me, and I emerged with a new conviction: never again would I say to anyone, “I don’t know how I pulled it off; I just did,” and never again would I put myself in a position that my business couldn’t handle the unexpected. From now on––I declared to myself––I would never leave my destiny up to the gods. From now on, I will have a business that keeps me safe and dry, takes care of me, my family, and my team, and ensures crises will not derail us.
In other words – no more sleepless nights.
That fateful day, standing in three inches of water, I realized I had been diving into shallow pools. With my current way of doing business, it was only a matter of time before I would crash and burn. I had to change my approach radically. I had to put my big girl pants on and run the business from an Excel spreadsheet and data rather than merely my instincts, hard work, and passion.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve run many businesses successfully with instincts and passion. But this place called EQUUS, this land called Buffalo Spirit Ranch, and all whom we employ, serve, partner with, care for, and protect, called for more. Much more.
I needed a coach. As one myself, I believe in that powerful investment and have retained coaches for decades (after all, you can’t very well be a coach, and not hire a coach). I know that coaching works and I know that it changes lives.
And at that very moment, I needed my world rocked.
I set out to find someone who was going to hold me accountable and make me very uncomfortable if I strayed. I also wanted someone totally outside of my normal circles of business, who would see EQUUS with fresh and critical eyes, who would help me be uncompromising and cut through dead wood. And someone who was grounded in deep spiritual principles of mindfulness and presence. I needed a blackbelt.
As the saying goes, when the student is ready, the teacher appears. And this one appeared not only with all the prerequisites, but with a high price tag.
“So to work with me for 14 months, I charge $40,000,” he said matter-of-factly. “Or, we can do 7 months for $22,000.” No fancy proposals, no dinner and wine. Just the words across the Zoom screen.
I gulped. I knew this was going to hurt. Yet without hesitation, I said, “No, no––I don’t want the small option. I want the big option. I want to do 14 months.” I ended the Zoom call and promptly got sick.
May I remind you that this was on the heels of the house crisis that ended up costing me $75,000 out of pocket––money I did not have at the time. May I remind you that this was at a time when I was still breathless recovering from that financial sprint? But I would do what I had often done, I would steal from Peter.
So, what happened after hiring my coach? Here’s the first thing that happened: I began to have nightmares the ensuing nights after signing my contract. I dreamt of tidal waves destroying the coastline. Tornadoes tore through my psyche. Fire burned down the ranch and all the forests around. I woke up in a sweat for at least two weeks in a row. What had I done?!, I asked myself.
“Mom…?” We were sitting over a glass of wine, discussing my decision (when things are really at a critical level, I still go to my mom). “…am I being reckless?”
She looked at me with eyes that only a mother who has known her daughter longer than anyone on earth can do. With a tone of total assurance, she said, “You are the wisest, most trustworthy, and instinctually aware person I know,” she paused. “You know what you are doing; go for it.”
The day came for my first coaching call, and my cart was loaded. When you pay that price tag, you damn well better get your money’s worth. I spent hours preparing. I was armed with goals, questions, and desired outcomes. And he, in return, fired at me one simple question, “You say that you are overwhelmed…” he trailed off. It wasn’t even a question; it was less than that. Or actually, it was more than that––it was an opening. Part of me was thinking, “What the hell, I’m paying you $40,000, and this is all you have for me, just a partial phrase?” but another part of me was walking through the opening, which took me places I never thought I would go.
Here's the deal, when you get two good coaches on a call, it goes quantum. Both know the value of powerful questions, both know how to learn and listen and––perhaps most important–– both know that they are leaning into something much larger than themselves. Call it a sacred space. Call it an emerging field of possibility. Whatever it is, when both parties know and trust that space, the impossible is made possible.
So, long story short, what happened when I paid $40,000 to a coach? Let me give you a partial list of what I have achieved (so far):
I increased my revenue by 30%.
I built up my savings and reduced my business debt.
I paid for my whole virtual team to attend an all-company onsite retreat at the ranch.
I let go of several business relationships.
I entered into several powerful business partnerships.
I became more fierce and steadfast in my boundaries.
I mapped out a calendar design system that shapes my days to suit my work/life balance needs.
I began sleeping at night.
But that’s not the end of the story. A phenomenon occurs when you invest in yourself. And the more you do, the more comes back to you. It’s as if, in taking such a big scary risk, I pushed hard into the universe with a clear intention to change things radically, and in response, the universe pushed back with ten times that energy. Serendipity had her way, and many other positive outcomes began to emerge, seemingly unrelated to my coaching conversations:
A powerful consultant entered the scene to assist me and the team in creating a robust data-driven marketing strategy.
My team and I engaged another talented coach to support our cohesion and team awareness through an enneagram-informed approach. We surfaced insights and important “elephants in the room.”
I created a Living Trust to care for the ranch, the animals, my mother, and my children in the event of my passing.
I procured life insurance.
A famous sculpture gallery closed down and re-homed all its sculptures on the ranch.
I radically reduced my drinking.
I hired an amazing gardener who has transformed the soil and plant life at the ranch.
I booked two backpacking trips and a mother-daughter trip to Mexico.
My coaching skills improved.
I wrote poetry.
Another horse came forward to join the EQUUS herd.
And much more.
Was it my coach and his mastery? Or, was it my huge “hell yes!” to myself in the form of a powerful, seemingly risky, and terrifying investment at a time when “I could absolutely not afford it”? Or was it some combination of the two? I’m not entirely sure.
My clients report a similar quantum blossoming in their lives. The moment they say a “hell yes” to themselves, everything begins to change. In fact, in my opinion, it is that very “hell yes” that seeds something miraculous. And when clients commit, I know that there is a promise the Universe makes to them in return. My job is to help them see that promise through.
But this isn’t about me, or my coach, or even my clients. It’s about you. What do you need to say “hell yes!” to in the face of certain destruction? What important investments in yourself do you turn down because you “don’t have enough [fill in the blank]…”? Who could you go to who will tell you aren’t crazy when you do make that investment (of time, energy, resources) and take that risk? What do you imagine awaits you on the other side of that leap?
With me as your coach, I would never challenge you to do something I haven’t done myself. That’s the good news for you because as I stretch and grow, so do my clients. Therefore, you too will be asked to stretch, and yes, to pay a very high price tag, to give up your sense of smallness or insignificance and all the stories you tell yourself about why something can’t happen. People will spend between $10,000 and $100,000 to work with me, and in return, their lives utterly transformed. Here is a list of just a few of the outcomes people have achieved:
They relocated to new countries.
They had babies when they thought it was impossible..
They quit their day job and started their own businesses.
They bought ranches.
They built dreams.
They became poets, authors, and visionaries.
They reconnected from their soul and started living from it.
They became helicopter pilots.
When you vault across the unknown on behalf of yourself and your dreams, chances are that life is waiting on the other side with far more than you ever dreamed possible.
